If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize