i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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