this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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