I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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