worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
