shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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