Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
