I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
