He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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