You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
