she looked like the bat from fern gully.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
