Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
