The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
