Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
