i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
