Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize