so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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