So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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