Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize