so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
