you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize