it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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