It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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