I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
