I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
