He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
