under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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