i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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