Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
