I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
