Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
