Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
