she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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