I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
