I am in a vortex of obligation.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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