its not stalking. its research.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
