bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
