The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
