I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
