Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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