Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
