You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
