that's an acceptable place to lick
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
