So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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