I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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