why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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