Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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