shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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