Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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