Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hate all girls vehemently.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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