This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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