i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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