Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
