just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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