And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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